Yesterday I took the path of least confrontation. So I left early, without spending too much time with my daughter. Then through the day I met my wife and daughter (I work close to home), but nothing too long that I would have too do any disciplining. In the evening I went to work after helping with some cooking. So all in all, I hardly had to face my daughter. In the night, however, I helped her sleep and neither got angry and was able to help her.
Today, I started the morning with wanting to spend some time with my daughter, to reconnect, but the issue of brushing teeth seemed to be coming up again and my wife told me to let her handle it. While my wife said it nicely, it did hurt a little, and I realised that I wasn’t ready. I was under stress with work, so I decided to cut short my play time with T (my daughter) and head to work.
I regret both this morning and yesterday. I hate running away, especially from my family. But right now it almost feels like it is a necessity, to get my bearings so that I can become better. I feel bad that my wife does not get this kind of time-out from our daughter. She continues to need her most, and always.
Even this morning, my wife had gone to the bathroom before my daughter had woken up, and my daughter suddenly found her missing and cried and cried for her, refusing to let me comfort her. For a 2 year old, this is not abnormal, but I did feel bad that I was losing my daughter. But I know it’s too premature to look at this as rejection of me. Soon, my daughter will become more confident in herself and less dependent on my wife… even me.
I’m looking forward to that day. But I hope, I will not end up being her enemy in her mind.