Back to fatherhood blues

What a “wonderful” time to write this. I’ve been a terrible father today.

I completely over-ran my daughter by forcing my agenda of “teeth-brushing” on her. I was trying to help my wife, who was starting to get angry at my daughter saying that she must brush her teeth. But I suddenly reacted and picked her up, somehow I became heartless and uncaring. Just forced her to brush her teeth while she screamed for her mother. I told her that she could not go to her mumma until she finished brushing. Surprisingly, after a lot of struggle she actually started cooperating, opening her mouth and letting me brush her teeth. But she was crying right through. Then she went to her mother and started screaming “at” her. At that point I became angry again and tried to force her to “behave” herself. But by then my wife had it with the “forcing” and dragged her away from me.

The rest of the day was spent in misery, believing I was a terrible father, and wrong for my family.

What went wrong: In anger I failed to listen to my daughter, and in trying to help actually made the situation worse. It could have been better to let my wife handle the situation like she does, even if she made a mistake I could be the objective voice.

But right now I’m finding it difficult to be calm. I feel manipulated by my daughter, and just hate it when she whines/cries. I know it is a toddler way of expressing, but still, it really upsets me.

Of course it’s because right now I’m so stressed at work and just not getting enough time to get it done. I find myself unable to concentrate at work, and unable to concentrate at home.

What a wretch I am, who will rescue me from these sins of parenting?

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About NAyK

I'm an Indian. I'm a Christian. I teach Theology at SAIACS, Bangalore, India. I am married, and I have a daughter.
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