…well, like I said earlier, my baby girl is a little more than seven months old… and so obviously my journey into fatherhood has been going on for a while.

The reason for this new blog direction however was reflection, and I guess, now’s as good as a time to start as any.

I never really wanted to become a father; in fact, for a while I was quite against that idea. Perhaps it was because of low self-esteem (that I would pass on negative genes to my child), or even a fear of responsibility (perhaps), or even a sense of inadequacy (can I do it), but whatever reason, I was never filled with a desire to have/raise kids.

When I married my wife, it was interesting that neither did she have that burning desire, but more so, her reaction was to the burgeoning population and the question whether we could justify adding another being into the world when so many orphans are in the world… ie. shouldn’t we adopt, if anything.

Anyway, I didn’t want to rush into parenting, nor she, so we evaded that question for about four years until God (yes, GOD!) showed us that the time was just right to have a child.

Actually, while my wife had her own transformation… I had suddenly found myself spending a lot of time with little children, and more interestingly, those little children grew comfortable with me (and vice versa). That comfort suddenly evoked a sense that fatherhood was not out of reach for me, nor something to be feared. I actually enjoyed the time I had with the children… though of course I knew that my own child would be a challenge… but somehow I found myself becoming ok and even wanting to have a child… months and weeks later… we were pregnant and there was no turning back.

My wife and I knew that we were parents the moment we conceived and we just had to learn to be better parents. My wife was working with children (professionally) in an educational/counselling set-up and so she had many ideas about children that inspired me and even challenged me about how to raise children. Through the years I had actually started practicing some of her lessons with the children I interacted with and was amazed at the results.

Hence, I knew we would be following her method, which was loosely based on “attachment parenting”. It’s a whole school of thought, that we don’t fully know or ascribe to, and yet, we knew that as God treated us, so we must treat our children… and we knew that our life and attention must focus around the needs of the child.

Our pregnancy and delivery went without too many things going wrong (praise God), and soon we had a little bundle in our midst.

I can honestly say that since that day she entered our lives, our daily life has been non-stopped filled with one thing after another… where days have merged into nights and nights into days… and I actually don’t really know how time has passed… but a lot of time and intense struggle has gone through the entire process.

I’ve walked hours with her, sung to her, fed her, calmed her… and it’s nothing compared to what my dear wife has had to do 24/7. Thankfully, we’ve a pretty secure non-competitive relationship, where we are not trying to outdo each other, or trying to complain against each other.

Right now my daughter has begun to crawl… and again I am amazed at the journey she has gone through, from struggling for survival… (infant stage)… to actually wanting to explore and grow in this world.

Ultimately, (and I’ll stop this post for now)… I am extremely awestruck (and exhausted) by this journey that I myself have been on. And I know this is just the beginning.

There’s this common quotation from Martin Luther (the reformer) that has been doing the rounds in and blogs and to a lesser extent sermon pulpits. It’s usually known as Luther’s views on marriage from his sermon on “The estate of marriage” (1522). For those who know Luther, know that his views of gender roles and especially the role of women, was not always the most enlightened. Obviously he was working with his cultural baggage there, and we can’t grudge him too much for that. Yet, his quote on marriage, and more particularly fatherhood, was brought to my attention by my wife. Theologically, it is quite nice, especially after you yourselves have gone through that drudgery and believe, like Luther (the erstwhile monk) knew, that it was God’s call!

Below I have excerpts from his work, especially related to fatherhood.

Now observe that when that clever harlot, our natural reason (which the pagans followed in trying to be most clever), takes a look at married life, she turns up her nose and says, “Alas, must I rock the baby, wash its diapers, make its bed, smell its stench, stay up nights with it, take care of it when it cries, heal its rashes and sores, and on top of that care for my wife, provide for her, labour at my trade, take care of this and take care of that, do this and do that, endure this and endure that, and whatever else of bitterness and drudgery married life involves? What, should I make such a prisoner of myself? 0 you poor, wretched fellow, have you taken a wife? Fie, fie upon such wretchedness and bitterness! It is better to remain free and lead a peaceful. carefree life; I will become a priest or a nun and compel my children to do likewise.”

What then does Christian faith say to this? It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful, and despised duties in the Spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels. It says, “0 God, because I am certain that thou hast created me as a man and hast from my body begotten this child, I also know for a certainty that it meets with thy perfect pleasure. I confess to thee that I am not worthy to rock the little babe or wash its diapers. or to be entrusted with the care of the child and its mother. How is it that I, without any merit, have come to this distinction of being certain that I am serving thy creature and thy most precious will? 0 how gladly will I do so, though the duties should be even more insignificant and despised. Neither frost nor heat, neither drudgery nor labour, will distress or dissuade me, for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in thy sight.”

Now you tell me, when a father goes ahead and washes diapers or performs some other mean task for his child, and someone ridicules him as an effeminate fool, though that father is acting in the spirit just described and in Christian faith, my dear fellow you tell me, which of the two is most keenly ridiculing the other? God, with all his angels and creatures, is smiling, not because that father is washing diapers, but because he is doing so in Christian faith. Those who sneer at him and see only the task but not the faith are ridiculing God with all his creatures, as the biggest fool on earth. Indeed, they are only ridiculing themselves; with all their cleverness they are nothing but devil’s fools.

Quote from Martin Luther, “The Estate of Marriage,” 1522. (Translated by Walther I. Brandt), http://www.warwick.ac.uk/fac/arts/History/teaching/protref/women/WR0913.htm

For a long while this blog was about wordpress themes. I would review them, and just enjoy experimenting with various wordpress facets. Then came the Cricket World Cup, where India didn’t even make it to the second round. With that shocker, I myself went into blog-shock and really stopped writing in the blog (of course I have other blogs, but this one was pretty much defunct). Until now.

I’ve just recently become a father (a whole seven months ago!) and while there’s been a lot happening, I think it would benefit (me at least) to pen a few thoughts, reflections I’ve been having about this fatherhood thing.

So this new blog will be about fatherhood (parenting).

I’ll also be leaning towards “attachment parenting” an idea I learned from my wife, though I’m not fully clear about it and its implications. So this blog will be a bit of a man’s journey into those waters.

This blog will also be from a Christian perspective, ie. when I say “God” I will usually mean “THE” (only) God! But this is not necessarily a Theological blog (whatever else that means!)

So this begins my journey into fatherhood blogging. I know there are million of these around already (which I also hope to get to know), but this is just my one-drop contribution in the large ocean of fatherhood-perspectives.

Alvida, for now.

Finally, a new theme to test out. I’ve just installed it and I feel it’s a little heavy. Looked better in the thumbnail. But that’s just the first impression. I’ll be trying it out further here and putting more thoughts later.

First impressions

As soon as I installed it, I didn’t like it. I was using Ocean Mist earlier, and in contrast to the soft feel earlier, this was too jarring. At least we can give this full points for striking impact!

Header

I usually look for themes that allow me to change the header. But somehow I didn’t like the “font” being used as the blog title. As a result, I simply removed the title. Also, when I changed the header, notice that the edges still have some of the previous header colour left over. A little tacky.

(to be continued).

I tried the Ocean Mist theme immediately as I saw it on this experimental review site that I run, however I was surprised to see that it only has two columns unlike the three columns in the screenshot. I guess I may have done something wrong??? Maybe the theme has more power to configure than I can see??? But I’ll have to get this to work like the screenshot before reviewing it.

Thank you, thank you… for giving me a reason to get out of cricket. I was using this site to talk about the Cricket World Cup, but after India lost to Bangladesh, I couldn’t bear to say another word. The problem was that I didn’t have anything else to say. But now, with the Neo-Sapien theme… I finally do. Below are my reflections.

First impressions:

The wow-factor of this theme is amazing. Of course it’s dark theme may put some “happy” bloggers off… but it certainly has it’s appeal. At the risk of stereotyping, I have a feeling that “guys” will like this theme more than “girls”… not that girls have anything against dark colours… but I think, even with the default header… the goal is the “man”.

I like the reader as well. It shows the full text, not a sample. For an impact theme, however, maybe only a bit would be good, but I like it this way. However, I somehow don’t like the space between the header and the text. It’s a little too far… and thus a little disjointed. Not too bad though, just a little disconcerting.

Advantages… Using Side-bar widgets to the max!

But most importantly, I think Neo-Sapien offers the best use of side-bar widgets even more than Fjords (which was four-columns, but more like a newspaper). These four columns give the text primary importance, and yet offer a lot of flexibility to the user.

Of course it forces the ‘writer’ to put in a lot more in the side-bar widgets and if you haven’t done so already, you’ll have to try all the works… like text, rss… just to make it look interesting.

I must say that the text in the side-bar, especially the first column is not that (immediately) readable. I don’t like the underlines as well… they are too “noisy”. For a theme whose main goal seems to be to make an impact… I would think that underlining should have been avoided.

Header size, 480/250… This header size is not bad… not the biggest… but still quite good. However, I guess the white border around the picture has it’s uses… but I find it a little distracting… especially because we can’t get rid of it. However, I must say, that the header size is quite big once you use it.

Editing

Not all themes allow you to edit from the post itself. This one does, and believe me, that’s a blessing. Excellent. I think the “edit post” link at the end is too far for people with long posts. A beginning edit is helpful for writers… who know the context of the site and thus want to make a quick edit.

Quotes…For quotations, I’ve pasted a sample from Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. Again, I would say that it is ok… there are better quotations in some other themes.

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,

Summary

High in impact, and flexibility (FOUR COLUMNS!!!), this theme is excellent to make a strong statement. For a reader oriented blog though, many elements may be distracting and even frustrating. I would recommend this for anyone who has a lot of content in the side-bar… and likes to make a splash each and every time.

More of this review to follow as I continue work with this Neo-Sapien theme for a while (ps. while the theme is called Neo-Sapien… in the actual theme it’s called Neo-Sapian. Spelling error?)

I chose the “black”-theme to mourn India’s departure from the world cup 2007. And I was intrigued to find the Hemingway theme that is quite different from anything I’ve seen. Of course it displays only the two blogs at a time… but maybe, that’s ok. I wish it had more options in the bottom bar… like having recent comments or something like that. But even that is ok.  For now I’ll probably be taking a break from this site, so this minimalistic look is enough.

Well… that’s it. I had said that I would retire from cricket writing if India did not make it to the Super8s… well India didn’t. So that’s it. From now on, this blogsite will talk about anything BUT cricket. All worldcup related tags (except cricket and worldcup) are being removed… and the entire look of this site is being changed.

I must say that I enjoyed Fjords theme for this site. Since my site was a more newsy theme, the four columns worked. But not anymore.

Now it’s time for happier things… maybe a story about a little elf, perhaps?

I didn’t think it was possible. But it happened. And now… India is paying for it’s cautious defensive mindset… by losing to Bangladesh! And facing the prospect of an early exit. Because of Sri Lanka’s demolishing of Bermuda… the chances for India making it are not that easy.

Anyway, I am so upset… that I am retiring from cricket-oriented blogging until… only until India makes it to the second round. If not, then good bye cricket writing! This blog will then talk about better, happier things!

Just yesterday I said to myself… that it would never happen. I really believed that no one would hit 6-sixes in a one-day international… at least not this world cup. And in 24-hours I was proved wrong. This is how it happened… according to cricinfo.

Herschelle Gibbs’s six sixes off Dan van Bunge’s fourth over was a record for international matches. Below is the ball-by-ball description of the mauling
29.1 van Bunge to Gibbs, SIX, Violence! Gibbs charged down the track and hoicked it over long on.
29.2 van Bunge to Gibbs, SIX, Murder! Floated on the leg and middle stump line and Gibbs sends it soaring over long-off.
29.3 van Bunge to Gibbs, SIX, Carnage! Flatter one this time but it makes no difference to Gibbs. He just stands there and delivers. This one also has been sucked over long off
29.4 van Bunge to Gibbs, SIX, Wah Wah! Low full toss and guess where this went Yep. A slap slog and it went over deep midwicket! He is going to go for 6 sixes in this over!
29.5 van Bunge to Gibbs, SIX, Short in length, on the off stump line and Gibbs rocks back and swat-pulls it over wide long off. SImply amazing. What a batsman. This is pure violence!
29.6 van Bunge to Gibbs, SIX, He has done it! One-day record. No one has hit six sixes in a row. GIbbs stands alone in that zone. And the minnow bashing continues! Full and outside off and bludgeoned over long off

Well there this company that owes 1milliondollars to some charity now… since that was the prize for the first person who hit 6-sixes. Wow, south africa have a knack of doing the unbelievable!